More revenues from The Hitchhiker’s guide announced

Douglas Adams passed away, and with him, the ability of making money of new Hitchiker’s books.

Now Adams’s widow, Jane Belson, has finally found a way to kickstart the money machine, in her everlasting quest to produce money hats off of her late husband’s work.

Eoin Colfer, 43, who is no stranger to milking a series for all it’s worth, said he was “terrified” by the prospect of actually raking it in from the works of another artist. He assured us that fans will buy it, based on almost a quarter of a century of the Hithchiker’s products being a cash-cow. He said that the series being, what he described as a “slice of satirical genius”, would not come in his way of having his way with them in his goal for enlarging his rates in at an order of magnitude.

The Adams leeching also spawned a BBC TV series starring Simon Jones, and amovie that made more people questioning the decision making of the late Adams “Golden Goose” estate.

“My first reaction was semi-outrage that anyone other than me was allowed to tamper with this incredible series,” Colfer said. “But on reflection I realised that this is a wonderful opportunity for me to dip in that pool of income that is the Hitchiker and drink my fill. It was also obvious to me that with such a devout following, I could have my 2-year-old girl write it and still make a pretty penny of the deal.”

“I feel more pressure to perform now than I ever have with my own books, and that is why I am bloody determined that this will be the best thing I have ever written. At any rate, it will be better than the movie and that was actually based on a book”

Jane Belson said: “I am delighted that Eoin Colfer has agreed to continue the Hitchhiker series. I was worried that I will not be able to buy that 300-acre farm on Essex, and might have to settle for a 100-acres.”

“I love the revenues he made off his books and could not think of a better person to chunk out a fast one before the Christmas rush. The project has my full support.”

Adams died of heart failure in 2001, aged 49. In his wake, several cheap shots were released, including “The Salmon of Doubt“, which was left in a nowhere-near-ready-for-print state, a movie that assured viewers worldwide that neither Belson, nor her advisors, have any clue what about her late husband is paying their montly fees (other than sticking the words “hitchiking” and “galaxy”, that is).

Around 16 million copies of his Hitchhiker books, which have been translated into 35 languages, have been sold around the world.

Colfer was a primary school teacher in Ireland before he secured the largest ever advance for a children’s novel by an unknown author. He has sworen since to break that record and improve on it, whatever the damage to his artistic integrity. In recent interviews he confessed of never having it in the first place.

His Artemis Fowl series, about a teenage criminal mastermind who wreaks havoc in this world and the next, went on to sell more than 18 million copies worldwide and a film adaptation is due to go into production next year, despite being devoided of a single original idea. Or because of it.

And Another Thing… will be published in October next year, and sequels will continue to appear as long as the idiotsfans are willing to pay for it.

Drolling down the river

There’s nothing like starting a new week with a bang.

Sadly, the only bang worth speaking of comes from the Large Hadron Collider. Now, I’m not that puritan, but those Brits and their sexual leniency can sometimes get on your better opinions.

I mean, c’mon. Not only they have a huge phallic object, supposed to recreate a “big bang”, but they keep referring to it as the “Large Hardon”. Yuch.

With that out of the way, it may seem that we are going for a week composed mainly of “meh”, not that its predecessor was anything exciting.
Despite the “yes, we *are* getting another Katrina, praise the lord!” announcements coming from different media outlets, Hurricane Gustav failed to really do much damage, apart from the damage to said media outlets’ ratings.

Also, Google released a browser. Or should I say “Google! Released! A! Browser!”. Once the dust cleared, people rushed to the scene to discover that it: loads web pages.

True that it has a newandexciting rendering engine that loads rich web “applications” in a newandexciting, multi-processed way, with a newandexciting javascript engine to create a newandexciting user experience. But other than that? It’s a browser. And it loads web pages.

Is it any wonder that a few uninspired desktops are toted as “The Amazing Artwork of Fedora 10“?
Is it of any difference that two parrots that can whistle 4 notes in order are described as “The Greatest Thing You Will See On The Internet All Day“?

And so, with no major war planned anywhere, all we left with, this week, are warm noodles described as “a new triumph in Pasta”. Allez Cuisine!